Amateurs might lack formal training, but they're all lifelong learners, and they make a point of learning in the open, so that others can learn from their failures and successes. Writer David Foster Wallace said that he thought good nonfiction was a chance to "watch somebody reasonable bright but also reasonably average pay far closer attention and think at far more length about all sorts of different stuff than most of us have a chance to in our daily lives." Amateurs fit the same bill: They're just regular people who get obsessed by something and spend a ton of time thinking out loud about it."
- Austin Kleon, Show Your Work!
Just Share
I mentioned in my most recent class that photography is helping me metabolize life.
I intended to share something different this week, but something in me is asking for more time. So, I shall honor my request and let things simmer a bit. I look forward to sharing when the time feels right.
In the meantime, I’d like to share a few resources I’ve been gathering throughout this year that’s making me excited. (The video is after this section!)
One of our early assignments from The Conceptual Portrait class taught by Anthony Francis is to come up with ideas for a potential future series. We’re tasked with creating a shot list, thinking through subjects and subject matter, and more. Here’s a page from my sketchbook with some initial ideas and further below is one of the images made from this process.
It’s been a complex week trying to balance all of this while supporting my mom as she prepares for a medical procedure next week. After this post, I’ll be taking a little time away so I can be fully present with her..
At the same time, this week has brought in some of the most meaningful affirmations I’ve received around being meant to do this work, meaning therapy. These moments have reminded me how fortunate I am. I feel like I’m one of the lucky ones. Somehow, I’ve found a vocation that gives my life an immense amount of meaning. I get the privilege of sitting alongside extraordinarily brave human beings every day.
And for that, I’m deeply grateful. 😸💗
My initial ideas. This doesn’t seem to get easier to share, especially my little doodles. >.<
I wanted to enter my mother’s world a bit and understand what gives her so much strength, direction, meaning, peace, courage, fortitude, fulfillment, and more.
So I sat in the pews and waited. I walked alongside her and listened to the stories she shared. Towards the end, it became tough as she shared news my sister told her not to tell me yet. In that moment, as I pressed down on the shutter, the camera in my hands gave me strength.
My camera helped me to respond to my mom and ask her to wait until we had more information, more data, more lab results before we came to any conclusions. My mother took a moment to stop crying. I dropped her off at home. I dropped off my film, began driving, and began to cry.
As I look back on the images of this day and the images I’d like to take, I realize I don’t want to take just pretty pictures. I don’t think real life is pretty. Pretty alone doesn’t interest me nor comfort me. Instead, I find myself drawn to the absurd. The grotesque. The disturbing. The beautiful. The doubts. The anguish. The laughter. Fear. Pain. Relief. The mundane. Confusion. The free. The playful. The surreal.
Essentially close to what I’ve been praying for…not necessarily a life of ease, but a life of meaning.
My camera is helping me move towards that vision. And maybe, just maybe, my camera is also teaching me to pay attention to what’s still beautiful even when the world feels like it’s falling apart.
As always, thank you so much for reading and please take care.